TOC.. ya, you know me.

I am a TOC. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a politically correct term that means "substitute teacher." I'm sure the mere mention of the words "substitute teacher" conjurs up memories of switching names, moving desks, spitball wads and passing notes. Gotta say, not much has changed.

Except for me.

I am now the one who is intercepting the notes and cleaning up the spit wads. I answer the phone at 5:45 and listen to the recorded voice that tells me where to go and when to be there. I'm the one who can teach at a moment's notice.

I'm like a fireman, but with books. I'm like supernanny, but with school kids. I'm here to spend the day with the kids and not get killed in the process.

A few high/ low lights of this job:

-I was sent to a grade 9 Drama class. There were 20 boys and 2 girls. That many pubescent, behaviour kids should not be allowed in the same room. I almost quit that day.

-Grade 1--it's PJ day in an inner-city school. Little boy at the back is being defiant and won't sit in his seat. Changes from a little boy to a turtle, using his housecoat as a shell and poking his head out at regular intervals. Heh.

-No report cards. This is a highlight.

-I can leave 10 minutes after the bell rings and don't have to take any marking home. Another highlight.

-Student to me: Wow, you're tall.

Me: Yes, I know!

Student: How old are you?

Me: How old do you think I am?

Student: 18.

Me: You're right.

Student #2: My mom's older than you, but you're still taller.

(Apparently how tall you are determines your age... not that I'm complaining! Gotta love the mind of a 6 year old!)

-5:45 phone call. I am not a morning person. I hate this part of the job. Today, I was called at 10 AM-- "can you come right now??" "Sure."

See.

Just like a fireman-- ready in 5 minutes.