Heal my Unbelief

I stood up without thinking and myfeet carried me to the front.
Surrounded by others with strength not my own.
Hand open.
Heart waiting.
Pressing in to hear the more.
Arms outstretched now, I wait.
And there is the more.
It comes in a great flood.
It overwhelms me from the inside out.
I fall to my knees.
Unable to carry myself.
The weight of unbelief released.
As if in the pangs of childbirth and coughing incessantly
I can no longer hold on to the control
I let it go and it rushes out in streams and in shakes.
Covered by others.
Blanketed in yellow.
Bowing in great submission I let it go
And I don't want it back.

New Season.

Fall brings about change.  The air is smelling different, the leaves are coloured, I started sneezing again...
It also is a time of renewal.
I had a memory of my wedding vows this week.  I remember telling my husband that I would "encourage him to develop the gifts God had given him".  He promised the same to me.
But, I am so removed that I don't even know what those gifts are.
I have been so busy doing church, that I have forgotten how to BE in church.
Abide.
That's the message for today.
So, here I go.... off to discover what my gifts are, what God is saying to me, and why I'm being moved away from my comfort zone.