Why do kids have to be so mean?

Our 10 year old wants her own email address. Everything in my being screams "NO!" But, there is that small little niggling that says, "ah, just go ahead, it's harmless." Thankfully the sane part of me is louder than the niggling.

So, we've compromised. I let her use our email address. I have to put up with the odd "LOL" TTYL, sixteen fonts, and eleven different colour emails that show up from all her little buddies, but I think it's safer than online chatting. I can monitor everything that comes through. I am so glad that I monitor this.

A is a very sensitive, soft-hearted kid. She is so concerned with the well-being and feelings of others that she just cannot fathom it when others are not the same. Back to the email thing...

I intercepted an email that went like this:
From A--

Hey! When Is your birthday party?? JC.(Just Checking) TTYL.

Reply--

I really don't know. Just to prepare you, you may not be invited... don't take it personally. It's just your not my FAVOURITE friend. But your up there! (Just not close enough. sorry) TTYL! see ya!

DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY?!?!?!?! I'm sorry, but I took it personally. I deleted the email. I grounded her off email. I grounded her off the computer. I wouldn't let her phone. I was choked!

And then I slept on it.

In the morning, with more clarity, I explained to my uber-sensitive child that some kids don't think about the consequences before they share things. I knew A would be devastated by that response. There were tears. There were many questions. Then we talked strategy.

So, overall, this became a learning opportunity. But, it still stings.

It's really hard not to put your own feelings into something like this. I can remember when so-and-so bugged me about wearing a purple coat to school. Even though Mom bought me a trendy rainbow scarf, it didn't soften the blow. I was scared off purple for years! Dad still bugs me about it. Parents are supposed to protect their kids from hurt. I was so disappointed that I couldn't help her avoid the pain. And yet, it still exists.

Where do we go from here? Not sure. But, we are learning along the way.

Climbing up on my Lap.

I'm not really a morning person. I love the time when I hear the busy-ness downstairs and feel cozy and comfortable in my bed. I love listening to the girls chatting, playing, making lunches, compromising, getting dressed and talking to their daddy. I tell them I'm tired, but really, I love the noises they make. Well, most noises (screaming is always an exception), and sometimes I really just want to sleep in. But, today, I loved listening. It's my "day off", but not for anyone else, so I feel completely justified in laying there and just "being." So, I got up late, didn't feel like getting dressed, and just sat in a chair and stared out the window. I don't usually do that. But, I just got my really old chairs recovered and needed an excuse to sit in them for a while. On the outside, I may have appeared calm, but my head was spinning. I was making a list of all the things I had to do that day and feeling completely overwhelmed.

Then something happened.

She climbed into my lap and kissed my cheek.

She never does that.

Another hug. Another kiss. A smile. My heart melted, but my head was still spinning. "Gotta Do" list was growing...

She grabbed my cheeks and forced me to stare in her blue eyes. It was meaningful and magical.

What was my problem? How many of these moments have I missed in my rush to get somewhere, clean something, or do something? Don't get me wrong, these things have to get done, but do I sit down long enough for my kids to climb on to my lap? I know my oldest is 10 and shares my shoes, but she still needs to sit on my lap once in awhile.

Thanks for reminding me that you still need me.